Week 35 June 29, 2015 The Dream

Week 35 June 29, 2015 

Good morning mom :)

So something crazy happened on the night between Saturday and Sunday. I had a dream and it was very particular. I was back in Pasco. I was with you and dad. We were in a very busy place and things were hectic and it almost seemed like neither you nor dad seemed to care that I was home. You weren't paying attention to me. Then I did something that was really off for me. I leaned over and kissed you on the cheek and you smiled really big.

So I am not a dream interpreter, but I think I am supposed to give you love today.

I really miss you. I really miss having you there for me and having a mom that loves me and will buy me little things to show that you were thinking of me. I miss you going to drive us to places. Here in France we have to walk or take a bus or a tram and it is a pain in the butt. But if I had you, I could be anywhere in a matter of minutes. I am thankful for the fun that we had together. The fun board games or card games that we played late into the night as a family. Here I am learning a new card game and I suck and I take it personally. Haha bad. I am learning how to not take things so personally so that the next time we play cards, we can just have fun and I will know that even if I lose, you still love me haha  I am thankful for your example to me in the church. It is always good to have somebody who would also go because it was the right thing to do, even when we didn't want to. And even though there are a lot of things that we all need working on, you have given me an example to fight back against life when it gets hard and that there is always a way back. I am thankful that you have fought so hard to keep this family together, even when there is contention and fighting. I have never really seen anyone fight harder to keep a family together than you have. I admire that. Maybe one day I will see what you see when I have a family of my own. But thank you for doing your best.

I love you mom and I hope you have better week than I did. I hope that you feel the love of God and you see His and in all things and aspects of your life. I love you so much, mom, and I hope that you know that.

I get to go to Switzerland this Thursday and Friday and member has invited us over for the Fourth of July. We get our new mission president this week too. A lot of change going on right now. It stresses me out. I still don't know what's going on. 

If I could get you a scarf, what color would you like? I love you mom! You're awesome! :)

Elder Martin :)

*a note from me, the Mom.  That Saturday there was a family disagreement, argument, a heated exchange of text and words. A lot of hurt feelings. Mike and I were just so extremely hurt and sad. Our hearts were aching for our children. As I was typing an email to him, he was sending me this email. He truly came to give me some love. He is growing so much! I love this Elder Nick Martin!!

This is an arch in Besançon that was built in 175 ad... also called the black gate

We really need to see this Ville. This town is prettier than Dijon if you want my humble opinion! this is Parc Darcy in Dijon close to our apartment

I am very proud of my American flag :) even put a light on it like in the museums

And me!

Week 33 June 15, 2015 Dijon is Beautiful

Week 33  June 15, 2015

I really.... Don't know what to think... I am so stressed.... I feel out of place here. I have this sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach like something is wrong and I don't know what it is..... 

So that is where I am mentally. Physically, it is beautiful in Dijon. The town is really old and it is pretty sick to see all of these buildings that have seen so much. The weather here is a lot fresher than down south. Thank goodness. I can walk outside and not be covered in sweat. But it down poured on us today and left us soaking. The apartment is really nice, too. It is a very nice apartment. Big enough for four missionaries.

My new comp is Elder Douglas. We have been getting along just wonderfully. He is a gamer and so we have been talking about games and his sense of humor is a lot like mine. We have had a lot of fun! He is a really good guy!

We taught a really cool friend of the church on Friday. We gave him a blessing and he had a very spiritual experience. So spiritual, that he knows without a shadow of a doubt that he wants to be baptized. He is golden. His name is Pierre and is 16. Keep him in your prayers!

The members here have been very warm and welcoming. On Sunday, I was asked just five minutes before sacrament meeting if I could introduce myself and bear my testimony. That was normal. Then they continued and asked if I could give a little message on a topic of my choosing since one of the speakers didn't show. That caught me by surprise. I didn't know what to share! Elder Douglas said, "Just share what you have been studying!" Well my studies have been in the general conference of April, 1971 and that's not in French haha so I prayed really hard and felt inspired to talk about the family. I felt the Spirit strongly and so did the members. It was good. One member came up to me after sacrament and said that I made him cry and that I am his son now and welcome anytime into his home. That made me happy that I could be used in the Hands of the Lord like that.

So that was kinda my week. I will let you go. Pray for me. Please. I miss you terribly. I love you so much.     Elder Martin

Me and Elder Douglas

These cathedrals are just massive!!!

This is the main road with all the shops and old buildings. It’s really cool.

This is just a side road.

Week 32 June 8, 2015 Transfer and Re-Transfer

Week 32   June 8, 2015

Good morning to my family back in the states and good afternoon to my family here in France. The events that have passed this last week are too large too large to share with everyone multiple times, so I will do a large email for everyone to read. (Encores je sais que vous parlez angles aussi mais c'est le seul message je vais envoyer en anglais. Toutes les restes don't en frainçais. S'il vous plais, traduisez le message pour les enfants)

Most of the events took place over the weekend, starting with transfer calls. At first I was supposed to go to Vitrolles. It is a small branche next to Marseille. I was so excited when I got the call because Julie H. lives there and she is a wonderful friend of mine! I have heard nothing but good things about her and I was looking forward to spending six weeks (minimum) as part of her family. Then I got another call from President with a change of plans. It was "brought to the attention" of president that "Julia visits Julie all the time in Vitrolles" and therefore I was moved to Dijon... I was infuriated!!! How could this be?? I was leaving my family and going to somewhere that I knew somebody and then I was transferred again to somewhere completely unknown and new to me.... Without anyone.... All alone.... I fell to my knees and wept... I begged God for forgiveness... I didn't know what I did, but I thought I was being punished and I was so saddened.... I felt all alone.... Then, as clear as day, I heard a voice saying to me "My son. What have you done? You do not need to be sorry. I am doing this for you. This is My plan." At
that point I received an assurance that all was well and indeed I would be taken care of and that I AM in the hands of the Lord.

Saturday we went and played boules with Céleste and Mathias and Elena and Sam and I had such a fun time! Merci, Elena! Vous êtes le meilleur :) et, oui! I LOVE ELENA ;) hahaha

Then my last Sunday at the ward of Cannes.... Oh, I dreaded this day.... I was leaving my family.... The place that had taken care of me and given me love and given me a home. Gosh.... I cry now just thinking of them.... Thinking of you. Words cannot describe what you have done for me or the love I have for you. Eternal. I think that would be the best word. We are an eternal family and will be forever, through good times and bad. I know I will always have a home. The testimony I offered was minimal when compared to my feelings....It touched everyone, though. I am so amazed at the way I was able to touch lives. I don't know how, but I did, and I will thank God every day for this amazing gift he has given me.  At the end of the meeting, all of the youth flocked to me. Fr. Perez came and hugged me and made me cry and then I had to talk to all the
beautiful jêune fille with tears in my eyes haha oh those girls are amazing haha and then all of mes garçons ;) haha the youth are where my heart and love lies. They are who I will miss the most. 

Then there was the baptism of Hugo. I was able to participate as a witness and to confirm him a member of the church. Talk about a feeling of responsibility that rests upon your shoulders as a
priesthood bearer.

We spent the rest of the evening at the house of the family of Laurent G. We were graced by Gaël and his mother and also Olivier and his family. Those will be my last memories of Cannes. Bouncing on the trampoline with some of the most beautiful and innocent girls I have ever known, getting thrown around by the boys, and seeing a truly happy family soaking wet as they chased each other around the yard with water bottles, Elena, getting me wet.

Then I went home and wept.

This week has shown me the importance of "Living Where Your Feet Are." Had I not lived every moment with my family here in Cannes, I would have no memories. And, since we all must depart at sometime, whether to another sector or to another life, we must live life to the fullest because you can't change back time. I will never get those moments back, but at least I have a family that loves me. I have left my impression and you have, too. I want you to know that I LOVE YOU SO MUCH!!!!!! I thank God every day for you! I will come back next year with my parents, and when I do, you better be ready to party!! Haha ;)

Je vous aime! Vous me mounquez!!! Priez pour moi. Il n'est pas facile. Mais avec Dieu et vous, je peux le faire.
Avec amour,     Elder Nick Martin :)

 

She is 13, but she is still pretty amazing! I love her to death!! This is Elena G :) her little sister is Stella and her dad is the one behind her dressed as an Indian for the cowboy night!!

My feet in the water for the first time and probably the last. 

My Friends!

Courtesy of Elder Ghirelli :) at Eden Roc

My friends, When the sun sets, without fail, it will raise again.

**I just love this picture!

Week 31 June 1, 2015 French Mother's day

Week 31   June 1, 2015

Wow.... You said you were going to go to bed like three or four times in there and kept on going haha so Happy Mother's Day again haha I sang yesterday with the young women's for the mothers. Well all the missionaries sang. I wasn't alone. And on Saturday there was a Cowboy Night! Oh my gosh, it was the cutest thing ever to see all these French people dressed up as Cowboys and Indians and try to line dance. Their cowboy meal was hotdogs and some chili haha but when we went out of the party to go home, one of the teenage boys came up to the car window and said "wait! We need to bisou!" (That is the way that the French greet and say goodbye. It's that little kiss thing on the cheeks.) and he "bisou"ed me right in front of all the girls and then there was one girl who said in English, "I am jealous! I want to bisou him!" Hahaha it was the funniest thing ever! 

The ward is really my family now. They have taken me in and have loved me and I really don't want to leave. It is more possible for me to leave because I have been here for four transfers (6 months) and I don't want to leave. I mean I want to because the work here has killed me, but I have put my everything into this ward and into this work and it has become my home and my family and I don't want to leave.... I am glad that I have made a family here because now I definitely have a reason to return after the mission, and when you come with me, you will see what the ward thinks of me. It will be so great! So happy will be the reunion. I'm looking forward to it already! I have to get emails!!!

That is so awesome that the missionaries are teaching in our house!! Oh my gosh! I wish I could be there to help out! Haha that makes me happy! I am glad they are having success! I know that our ward is very hard to be a missionary in. Tell me more about the people they are teaching!!

I got an email from Julia's dad haha it is super awesome :) it makes me so happy! He likes me, which is good!  ;) 

Well I am off! I have some other people to write to. I hope that you have a wonderful week and I will get to you next Monday (maybe a day later if I have to move very far) and tell you whether I stay or have gone!

I love you so much mom! You're the best mom that I could ever want! Julia all the time tells me about how "cool" you look. She really loves you. You have become a second mother to her. Remember that you are doing a lot of good for those that are around you :)

Elder Martin :)

Week 30 May 28, 2015 Sun Beats Down on Us

Week 30   May 28, 2015

It has been an interesting week to say the least! We had a meeting on Monday which is why I couldn't email then. But better late than never I guess! I will try to figure out a way to send more pictures.

Gosh I am tired. The sun beats down hard and it is only May. I will need to start drinking more water I bought some vitamin c the other day! Hahahaha oh I am stupid.... I popped it open and threw a pill in my mouth. It exploded. I started choking.... Apparently you were supposed to put these pills in water to let them dissolve... Hahaha let's say that the next time, the pill tasted a lot better.

So I wrote something really nice to dad. It is very powerful and personal, so you can read it there, but not everyone else.

We have been trying to do a lot of less active work here. Now I wish I had been a better home teacher. I don't remember if I said this, but we have about 35 less actives and 11 actives. The main reason why the branch in Antibes isn't open yet is because there is really only one member that does any work in the sector. I brought it up at ward council and I hope there will be some action, but we will have to lead it. Thankfully we got a member from the other sector say he would work with us. That's good. I talked to him later and he expressed the same sadness that I feel towards the inactivity of the members in Antibes.

So my voice of warning is to do your home teaching and be their friend. Don't just go once a month. That is minimal. Christ didn't just do the bare minimum. He defended below all. The least you could do is stop by two or three times from your way home from work and check up on your families and show them that you care, and show them that God still cares. If you have not yet watched the new Mormon message "LIFT" yet, I highly recommend it.

Remember that I love you and I am extremely thankful for your prayers. My soul is stirred when I think of all that you do for me. "No greater love hath any man than he who lays down his life for his friends." Thank you for your sacrifice for me. I love you eternally.
Love,    Elder Martin :)

Week 26 April 27, 2015 Live Where Your Feet Are

Week 26    April 27, 2015

Good news: I am staying on my mission! I also am staying another transfer in Antibes as well. My new companion is Elder Rellaford from Utah. 

So I just want to apologize to everyone for stressing everyone out. It was really... Selfish the way I acted. After that email session, I went home and I cried and then woke up the next day and couldn't stop crying. I was wrestling with God in prayer on the floor, crying, unable to do anything. I was just going to lay there and do nothing... Pathetic. Thankfully God took pity on me. There is really no other way to put this, so I will just say it: I had a conversation with God. I heard His voice and He helped me realize that Julia still loves me, that I still love her, that God still loves both of us, and that He will keep His promise that He made with us. He also told me that the reason I was going through what I was going through is so that I am prepared for the work the He has for me.

This prayer was such an uplifting experience. It helped me realize that I have nothing to be sad about. It also helped me realize some other things, too. I realized that Elder Lago was not out to get me. Elder Lago is my brother, now. I realized he had only been trying to help me, and that he, like me, is only human, and has weaknesses. It makes me sad that he is gone now. He went back home. It was his last transfer. Oh gosh we both cried as we hugged each other. Gosh... I cry now just thinking about him. 

And as I talked with him about my enlightening experience, he helped me realize that I need to have “no drag” and LIVE WHERE MY FEET ARE. I am here in France with these people for only two years of my life. I am only fully serving God as a missionary for these two years. I need to be here in France doing the work. Julia was right. I was distracted. But now that she has helped me by refocusing me, I have never been more happier, more focused, nor more sure in God and His plan for me. I made a family here in the Cannes Ward, and especially with the missionaries here. They are my family for these two years. Well, year and a half now. And I am being me. I am being fun again! No more serious-all-the-time-Nick. I hate that guy. He wasn't fun to be around. Now I will always smile and express my joy with those around me.

This week was crazy! Me and Elder Lago did a lot of awesome stuff together! But I think the best part was just being with him. I really miss him, and it is not the same without him, but now I get to make another happy life with the new missionaries in my life! I am excited!!

I love all of you and I am so eternally grateful that you pray for me and love me, too. I miss you all, but we will have time in plenty in this life to catch up and to be together in the life to come.

Have a great week.       Elder Martin :)

PS: That is me and Elder Lago at the Mission Conference with Elder Kearon and Elder Nielson of the 70. I spoke at the thing, they gave me a mike and I made a comment, and I embarrassed him in front of the whole mission! lol! oh I love Elder Lago! I am gonna miss him!

Week 25 April 20, 2015 Feeling Alone

Week 25    April 20, 2015

So this weekend I get an iPad for the mission. all the missionaries are going to Lyon for a conference and we are going to learn how to use the new iPad minis.

I am really depressed right now. I feel horrible and useless. I really want to go home. It's not because of sin. I just feel like nobody cares about me or what I think or have to say. Never before have I felt so unloved. Never in my life. I don't know how long I can do this anymore.  Nobody listens to me. 

Only one elder and one sister have been genuine with me, but other than them, I feel ignored and neglected. Unloved. Here in the field, ALL MY LIFE, I will say something, and it will go through one ear and out the other. I once stopped an elder from speaking during a lesson because I felt something different and he told me later that he thought "What the freak is this Bleu doing?" I am only 4 weeks younger than this elder is in mission age. That tells me everything I need to know about what the people here think about me. 

I will be talking and my comp will cut in with some stupid comment and change everything so that the attention can be on him. It kills me. I feel so worthless. My comp will take over lessons and conversations and I know that it will never come back to me for me to add something. I talked about it with him, and so did all of his other comps. The same thing happened to me in my first two transfers. Why am I even out here? I can go home and read my scriptures and walk around and attend a French class! I don't need to come to France for two years just so people can ignore me!!!! So what I need is some time alone for awhile. Since I am alone here in France anyway, I guess that works out just perfectly. But the next time I email, I will tell you whether or not I will be coming home. 

Week 24 April 13, 2015 Nothing much

I love YOU!!

Week 23, April 6, 2015 Happy Easter and Conference Weekend

So this Sunday was Easter and it was the most special Easter in my life. I got to spend it watching General Conference down in the basement of the Cannes chapel in the genealogy center. The Sunday Morning session came on about 6 pm for us, which is 10 AM MST. We watched and the talks were all very powerful. There were two people from over here that spoke. The Portuguese man who is the regional director of this side of Europe (or something like that) and A Frenchman who is in the Presiding Bishopric. That was cool. But I think the thing that hit me the most was the talk given by Elder Jeffrey R Holland. Before conference started, I wrote down the question, "Who is my Savior?" My question couldn't have been answered more loudly. Elder Holland came up and gave a talk so powerful on the Savior that I wept and couldn't write any notes. This talk still shakes me. I want all of you to watch this with the same question in your mind: "Who is my Savior?"
https://www.lds.org/general-conference/watch/2015/04?lang=eng&vid=4154894180001&cid=10

 

Elder Martin


Wait let me take a Selfie!

That's me in a Bentley! :)



Me and Elder Lago

Week 22, March 30, 2015 Happy Birthday to My Sis Mysti!!

Happy Birthday to my oldest sister, Mysti. She just had her shoulder replaced so I am praying for her recovery.  Wow that sounds a lot like Lyon and Paris! Here in Antibes it is super nice and I can't stop smiling! The sun works a magic in me :)  (We, Mike, Jake, his friends and I went on spring break to Long Beach, Wa and Nick and I were comparing the weather on our beaches.) 

 
 

Mom's door from Astoria Oregon

His door from the French Rivera...he wins.

This week was pretty uneventful.... a bus caught on fire on Tuesday, I got sick with a head cold, and a lot of walking around trying to talk to people and spread them the gospel!!

 

I bought Dad a present today!! I don't know how I am going to get it to him though..... It's a tricky one....

 

I am busy all the time which is good! I feel like I am actually doing work!! I really am so thankful for Elder Lago. Seriously. I feel like he is my brother and we joke around and beat each other up. It's really fun! I am enjoying myself so much and I am having a great time!

 

Today was actually a really cool P-day! We got to visit and look at a couple of Cathedrals and it was free, too!!

This is the Cathedral that overlooks Cannes. It is the one with the clock tower I love taking pictures of.

We went to the beach and swam! Ok.... maybe we didn't swim, or go on the beach... There are starting to be tourists and that means it is hot here for them and so they are in bikinis and that's not good for us. So we now have to stay away from the beach unless it’s the morning when we go on our runs. But it really is beautiful here!!! They have been getting ready for the Cannes Film Festival!! If I am here next transfer, I will be able to go and see that!!! soooooooooooooo awesome!!!!!!!! I can take pictures of the red carpet and all the stars!!! hopefully I see Clint Eastwood!! that would be sick!!!!

I am excited! 5 months is a long time!! It has already been one year since me and dad went to conference together and threw up from all the excitement!! That seems like yesterday!! It will go faster and faster!! You will be picking me up before you know it!!  

Love you!!!!

These are my two "girlfriends" in the Cannes ward haha they are pretty good friends of mine and they are characters!

Week 21, March 23, 2015 Working Extremely Hard in Antibes

So my new comp, Elder Lago, and I are working extremely hard to get Antibes back on track... The effort and nurture that is required for this ville has been lacking. Let's just say that me and E Lago have done more work in this past week than was done in the past two transfers. So naturally, I am exhausted. When I come home at night I can barely stay awake! But I have progressed so much! I have a couple of things that motivate me to get up and get going.
 
I need to develop the qualities of a perfect husband. I still have a lot of work to do, so that's why this is one of my motivations. The second is to give away an entire box of copies of The Book of Mormon. That's 24! By myself!! And Elder Lago has the same goal! So we made it a friendly competition, and the first one done wins a prize! We haven’t discussed the prize, yet, but we will make it good! I am in the lead, too!! I have given away 2 and I have 3 others that I need to deliver to people who have asked for them! This is really good because it forces me to go off by myself and learn how to talk to people and is the best way to improve my French! And it helps me win haha ;) 

My challenge! And I challenge you to give away a book of Mormon!! Everyone!!! All of you in the family!!! I will follow up next week!!!!

But I am stressed out about something, and I don't know what it is.... I wake up at 4:30 and roll around until I have to get up.... I have been losing more hair.... Yeah.... I don't know what it is because I am really happy. I don't know. I guess I will just be bald.... Dang....
 

Monday: After emails we helped the new Sisters move their entire luggage into their new apt! They got Pink Washed(this means both the sisters got transferred to a new location) and now they are really stressed out about it! Haha but oh well, there are lessons in every trial.

Tuesday: We visited a less active and her son. Apparently the son is really good at cooking and wants us to return so he can cook for us! I am not going to pass that up! After that we went and contacted a little bit. We did some area book work (we have A LOT of that to do still. it has been neglected for a long time). 

 

Wednesday: In the morning we did some contacting! Today a few Italian girls came up to us and contacted us!! It was so funny!! They waited around for us to finish talking to a woman and then they approached us. They were obviously interested in more than our answers haha I mean we are a pretty handsome équipe!! Hahaha :) I am getting better at my French! Slowly, anyway. Then we rode bus lines and did some scouting for some neighborhoods to port. A pretty quiet night until choir! Then we sang a song that is too difficult for the ward members. I hope it gets better.

 

Thursday: Thursday we went contacting in the morning and I gave away a Book of Mormon to a woman named E. She was on vacation visiting her daughter, but she seemed receptive. I hope that she will be touched later and remember. Planting seeds. Laying the path. Then in the evening, we went to D. B.'s house! He has the cutest little family!! His daughters are adorable and his wife is so sweet! They are actually moving to somewhere in British Columbia this May so I want to visit them after the mission! D. was actually born in Canada when his parents worked there for a couple of years. That is where they were introduced to the gospel!!! So cool!!! And then they had to return and relearn all of the terminology when they got to France because the words are very different haha 

 

Friday: Today the Assistants to the President came to Antibes and helped us in our attempts to find amis!! It was so cool! So we had 5 missionaries on the street all day talking to people and getting numbers! It was so great! In the first half of the day, I took the car and hunted down some people that were in the area book that we couldn’t call. Elder Huntsman is a very good driver! That was when I met a Chinese man named J. L. He was so cool!!! He wanted a book of Mormon and I told him I would come back and give him one in Chinese!! Then I switched and was with Elder William Montgomery from Georgia! Oh man! This guy is so cool!! He is a super missionary and I just felt comfortable around him and I had this happiness that was so great!! When I was with him, I saw this group of girls, and I told him, "Hey, let's go contact them!" So without even thinking about it, I walked up to this group of 10 girls and started talking to them. I got nothing but blank looks..... Because they were all Italian and didn't speak French hahaha so we tried to talk with them but just ended up telling them to have a wonderful day because we couldn't communicate with them! But that impressed E Montgomery so much! He was impressed with my faith! Towards the end of my time with him, he sat me down near a fountain and had a heart-to-heart with me. His words I will never forget. "Elder Martin, you have a lot of faith, and your faith will carry you in hard times. When you are a leader, a senior companion, a trainer, a district leader, you have to make sure that your faith keeps you going because even if you don't want to keep going, others will be looking to you for strength and guidance. You're going to be a great leader. The mission needs you. Keep up the good work." That made me realize that God has not forgotten me. He still needs me and has a work for me to do. I need to be ready for Him. 

 

Saturday: We contacted and I met S. from México!! I told him we will be stopping by to give him a BoM in Spanish!! I am so happy e Lago knows Spanish!! Then we went porting and met some really cool people. I found the middle aged people of Antibes!! They are at the bus stop Roi Soleil!! Hahaha 

 

Sunday: Church was great!!! Oh man I love the youth of the ward!! All the young men look up to me, literally! Haha no but they see me as a brother and treat me as one, too!! I got a wet Willie yesterday for proof!! :) Then we went over to the Famille T. and we had them teach me the first lesson because S., the wife, is a recent convert! She did really good!! 

Monday: Cleaning, emails, shopping soon, and then I have to go on a train to Saint-Raphael because Elder Lago goes to Lyon for a conference!! Wish me luck! I will be with a missionary just one week in his mission haha!  

 

Thanks for everything!! I love you so much!!!!  

Elder Nick Benjamin Martin :)



I was so hungry I ate the sun!



Morning Mangos on the Edge (must be code for I'm exercising on this wall by the Sea)